70+ Funny Thanksgiving Quotes to Bring Smiles

Thanksgiving is all about food, family, and laughter (in that order, depending on who you ask). While it’s the perfect time to count your blessings, it’s also a chance to have a bit of fun. Whether you want to break the ice with relatives you haven’t seen all year or need the perfect punchline for your Instagram post, funny Thanksgiving quotes are the ultimate conversation starters.

Here’s a collection of witty, humorous Thanksgiving quotes and sayings to keep the holiday spirit light and full of chuckles.

Short Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

Sometimes, less is more—especially when it comes to serving up laughs. These short quotes are great for social media captions or a quick laugh around the dinner table.

• “Stop, drop, and pass the rolls.”
• “Leftovers are for quitters.”
• “Grateful, blessed, and totally stressed.”
• “Forks are for people who don’t eat pie with their hands.”
• “My favorite workout? A Turkey Trot to the couch.”
• “Enter at your own risk—calorie counting ends here.”
• “Stuffed with stuffing and a side of guilt? Same.”
• “You had me at mashed potatoes.”
• “Diet starts on Black Friday (maybe).”
• “Thanksgiving prep tip #1: Order pizza as plan B.”

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for a Smile

Need something to get everyone grinning? Here are Thanksgiving quotes guaranteed to lighten the mood for your holiday gathering.

• “Thanksgiving is the only time it’s okay to nap in the middle of eating… repeatedly.”
• “Why did the turkey cross the road? Nobody knows. He refuses to come anywhere near Thanksgiving dinner.”
• “May your turkey be moist, your pie sweet, and your Uncle Bob’s political opinions quiet.”
• “There’s always room for seconds, thirds, and elastic waistbands.”
• “Who needs WiFi when you have gravy?”
• “Thanksgiving dinner—where calories don’t count, but family drama does.”
• “The secret of a good Thanksgiving dinner? Eat fast before anyone comments on portion sizes.”
• “Try not to ‘accidentally’ drop your turkey on the floor like last year, Dad!”
• “I’m thankful for elastic waistbands, stretchy jeans, and Spanx.”
• “Reminder: Thanksgiving leftovers taste better when you don’t have to share them.”

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Friends

Thanksgiving isn’t just for family—it’s the perfect opportunity to celebrate your “chosen family” of friends. Use these lighthearted quotes to add a touch of humor to your Friendsgiving.

• “Friends are the family we choose—and the ones who won’t judge our awkward pie experiments.”
• “Friendsgiving motto: No one gets judged for eating dessert first.”
• “Here’s to stuffing our bellies with food and laughter.”
• “May your mashed potatoes be fluffy and your gravy never lumpy.”
• “Why talk about politics when we can talk about pie rankings?”
• “We came, we drank, we conquered the appetizer table.”
• “A toast to Friendsgiving—the only place where ‘pass the wine’ outranks ‘pass the gravy.’”
• “Calories don’t count when you’re with your BFFs.”
• “Eat, drink, and make questionable turkey puns.”
• “Just happy to be around people who don’t care how many pieces of pie I eat.”

Short Thanksgiving Quotes

If you prefer to keep it concise, these short Thanksgiving-inspired phrases are perfect quick hitters.

• “Gravy runs thicker than water.”
• “Mashed potatoes: the glue holding this family together.”
• “Thankful for pie. Forget everything else.”
• “Pumpkin pie is a vegetable, right?”
• “Family. Food. Awkward small talk. It’s Thanksgiving!”
• “Too blessed to be stressed. Okay, a little stressed.”
• “Wake me up before leftovers.”
• “Turkey thighs don’t lie.”
• “Keep calm and gobble on.”

Funny Thanksgiving Memes

Who doesn’t love a good Thanksgiving meme? Whether it’s about overeating, family drama, or cooking fails, these meme-worthy quotes are sure to go viral:

• “Me after my third serving of stuffing: I regret nothing.”
• “A little tip for hosting Thanksgiving dinner? Microwave the wine for two minutes to warm it up.”
• “Thanksgiving dinner conversations be like, ‘Pass the turkey, but not the politics.'”
• “When someone says ‘take a small piece of pie’… excuse me, define ‘small.'”
• “How I approach the Thanksgiving table vs. how I leave it—roll me home.”

Thanksgiving Quotes for Friends

Need to shoot off a Thanksgiving text or express gratitude in a playful way? These quotes add warmth and a touch of humor for your favorite people.

• “Grateful for you and the fact that you bring wine to every dinner.”
• “Friends like you are the gravy to my mashed potatoes.”
• “Here’s to avoiding all awkward family drama together next year.”
• “Thanks for being my wingman/woman for both Turkey Day and leftover raids.”
• “I’m thankful for you—especially because you never judge my pie obsession.”

Cute Turkey Sayings

From playful puns to turkey-inspired humor, these sayings are turkey-tastic!

• “Turkeys think Thanksgiving is a form of fowl play.”
• “Wobble till you gobble.”
• “Turkeys can’t fly, but gravy sure does pour.”
• “Turkey is the reason stretchy pants exist.”
• “A turkey’s worst nightmare? A hungry family.”
• “You can’t make everyone happy—you’re not a Thanksgiving turkey.”
• “I only cook the turkey—I don’t make the rules.”
• “No one said you have to share the turkey legs.”

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes from Movies

Movies always find a way to capture the awkward, hilarious joy of Thanksgiving. Here are some gems:

• “I don’t know what to say, except it’s Thanksgiving, and we’re all in misery.” – Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
• “That’s too much turkey for one person.” – Friendsgiving (2020)
• “My family Thanksgiving is much like yours… only louder and drunker.” – Scent of a Woman
• “I’m sorry, this is the worst Thanksgiving dinner I’ve ever had!” – Addams Family Values
• “Eat first, argue later—it’s tradition.” – A classic Thanksgiving trope.